Big. Chop. Confidence.

Two years ago in May I did something that defined my self image and changed my outlook. May 2nd, 2013 I cut nearly all of my hair off to embark on a new journey in my life. The day I cut my hair was one of scariest most uncomfortable days ever. There were many events that happened that day that led to my new found understanding of self image. Without this experience I wouldn't completely understand the importance of accepting myself and embracing my natural beauty. Through the events that took place on this day I was able to encourage many other young women to love themselves and embrace their natural beauty.

The day I cut my hair started off as any other normal day, I got up, prepared for my day at school, got some breakfast, and took a look in the mirror before it was time to go. Something was different. I felt the need for change, something new. I begged my mom to take me to the hair salon to get my hair done before I went to school. It took me a while to convince her but she finally gave in and took me. I had this picture in my phone of exactly what I wanted my hair to look like. I typed in google, “short styles for black women” the only thing that came up was a bunch of older women with short cuts and straight hair. I couldn't find any natural styles so I chose one of the straight short styles. My intention was to get a cute short cut for an event that was going on at my school later that night. When I got to the salon I told the hairstylist that I wanted to cut off my relaxed ends because at the time I was transitioning to fully natural. I was so nervous as he began to cut my hair. In just a matter of moments my confidence when from 90% to about a 2%. All my hair was gone and I was shocked at the way I looked. I wanted something different but I wasn't expecting all of that. I wanted him to cut my hair. I was okay with the short natural hair look on other people but I wasn't sure how it would look on me. After he finished my hair I starred in the bathroom mirror in the salon for at least 20 minutes, then my mom and I headed out to take me to school, it was about 12:00am. I sat in the car in front of the school for about 30 minutes trying to fix myself up as if I were prepared for people not to accept my new style. As I walked into the front doors of my school, my heart racing, and tears welling up in my eyes, I told myself I can do this. I told myself how much I loved my new hair and I didn't care what people would think. That all changed very quickly as i walked into my spanish class where my assigned seat was in the front row, and two popular boys in the class began to laugh at me. I wasn't one to get all angry and say something to them so I just sat back and ignored them and pretended I didn't notice. Deep down having those boys laugh at me was the worst feeling in the world. I was really hurt. 

After I left school that day I headed to the youth organization i was apart of because I had invited them to the event that was going to be at my school that night. On my way to the office I was thinking “I have to walk into another room full of people who are going to look at my hair and laugh at me” I prepared myself mentally for the hurtful responses. I was wrong, very wrong. As I walked into the youth organization every single last one of the young people including the adults loved it. They embraced me and told me how beautiful I was and at that moment I realized it wasn't enough for me to just say I loved who I was inside and out, I seriously had to love who I was the way the people at my youth organization loved me. That day encouraged me to accept me because everyone there loved and accepted me. It wasn't so much about my hair as it was about overcoming adversity. I truly appreciated the community of young people who supported me on my journey to return to my natural hair and appreciate the adults as well for building strong amazing young leaders. It definitely takes a village and I’m very proud to have been apart of that village.

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